Narcissistic isolation

Narcissistic isolation

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All work in this video contains 100% original content of and by myself James Smith, other wise known as begood4000, and was uniquely created with GOAnimate software, by myself James Smith. As I’ve purchased commercial rights from GoAnimate to produce my unique and original video with this software. Commentary is uniquely my own thoughts, feelings, and expressions.


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Comment (34)

  1. James, what are examples of subtle normal behaviors, that could be viewed as strange.
    That could be a variation from the parents? Ok. Too much info is one. Other examples? Thanks.

  2. Truth ! If the child does not clean the house and cut the lawn, it will not get done even though both parents could help out …but choose not to ! It constantly forces one to consistently clean because it is embarrassing! One is programmed ! The lies, manipulation, gaslighting, isolation, abuse…ALL real ! The smear campaign…real ! Ruin dates, weddings…Truth ! Education…that was sabotaged too ! All truth ! Thank You so much ! Please keep posting !..Now I am being isolated due to a vandalized vehicle and being terrorized ! This is insane ! I am truthful ! Either you realize what has happened and are nothing like them…or you do not realize ! I have been FORCED to come back here and be subjected to more abuse because I have been financially " ram rodded" …evil !..Also..let us add the use of money and religion as a weapon to guilt and control !

  3. It's so true about bad behaviours rubbing off on you from narc parents, without you even knowing it. I can see how my narc dad's behaviours influenced me. There are some unhealthy mechanisms I adopted from him that I didn't even know were unhealthy! I was just acting the way I saw my dad acting, assuming that was how one dealt with certain social situations. While I don't have all his narc traits and am not a narc myself, I did spot some things I do. The silent treatment for example. This was how my dad would react if someone offended him or someone did something he didn't like (including me and my mother). Unconsciously, I would act this way with friends whenever we had a disagreement or they did something that I felt hurt me. Instead of resolving our issues, like a healthy person, I just gave them the silent treatment. Because that's how things worked in our family. Dad gave us silent treatment until me or my mother approached him, or alternatively he gave silent treatment then acted like nothing happened later. No apologies, no resolution, nothing. I picked up this behaviour from him and unconsciously used it in my interpersonal relationships – but how do you think healthy people responded to this? Not well. Friends didn't approach like me and my mother approached my dad. It just created a rift between us. Lost several friendships this way because I was not taught healthy ways of communication. And at the time, I didn't even know what I did wrong because in my head I was like, "what? They should approach me after I give them silent treatment! That's what happens when dad does it". Narc parents give you a shitty guide for how to interact with others, causing you to become isolated and find it hard to make and keep friends. My dad also does the messy hoarder thing. And i remember in childhood when I wanted to invite friends over, my mother wouldn't let me because she was embarrassed by the mess. Thus, also preventing me from having friends. I look back and can't understand why a parent's supposed embarrassment trumps letting their child play with their friend? Isn't it more important to let your child develop friendships? Though my mother is not a narc like my dad, she can also be selfish. She acts really giving and considerate to relatives and her friends, but when it came to me, she often neglected my needs/feelings or cared about her own needs more than mine. Narc parent also didn't want me to get a job in my teens and early twenties, he wanted me to "study". Now I have no financial means to move out, and he regularly uses "why don't you move out then, you're over 18, you should have moved years ago" as a threat/insult whenever we argue because he knows I can't. I'm like, "YOU'RE the one who never let me work!" It's so frustrating dealing with these toxic parents, they trap you in their web then turn around and attack you for situations they created. Sometimes I wish I had never been born, my entire life thus far has just been miserable, isolating and very tiring. I will never have kids myself because I see no point in bringing them into this kind of world. Ironically my parents LOVE the idea of grandkids and I know they do want me to have kids. I'm like well maybe if you raised me in a healthy environment to be a healthy person I would consider having kids! But as a damaged person, no, I do not think I could be a parent. I can't even function as an adult myself! How they can expect me to give them grandkids after how much they neglected and mistreated me is beyond my belief. It's like their brains are missing common sense. Why the fuck would I give them grandkids? They'd probably just manipulate or badly influence the grandkids too

  4. I wish I know of you ,and your videos just 5 years ago. I found you about 2 months ago. I have not been this happy in 27 years. You understand totally every single thing my trashy mother and sister-in-law are.

  5. The subject matter on these videoes is good, but my heart always sinks, when I hear it's a robot. Couldn't you use a means of disguising your voice, rather than electronically replacing it? However, the content is good, so thank you for the video.

  6. My mother did this– I was always humiliated by my family and mother. I could never have friends over. They taught me to think I was crazy. I was never treated like a human with feelings. I never was crazy though, I had food allergies. I am still abused by my family to this day. I spent my life thinking I was crazy and worked as a people pleaser and my Mom's Slave. I was also taught to have abortions. I was always taught to feel guilty, bad and crazy. They still treat me as a "Crazy Person"- if I was, they made me Crazy.

  7. I think you do a great job of disseminating the truth about psychological tricks of the trade. A couple of years ago I began to understand the methods satan used in his rebellion and could see how those same tactics came into the human race. satan uses condemnation, manipulation, and intimidation. All of these are exercises in using force to get his way. God wants a connection through love and does not force anyone to obey him. A few months ago I came onto your channel and others also and am learning a great deal. I could co well by watching all of your discourses. Thank you.

  8. Another blessing from James, who has so much good stuff to say for persons trying to go no contact from an abusive family of origin. James is the top you tuber on this specific subject of long term family of origin abuse and ways to recognize it and manage it.

  9. for a LONG TIME i believed that there was no better life waiting for me and why bother getting a job and moving out if this hell is all there is to look forward to….. if everyone i meet and everywhere i go will be the same as this nightmare of a house.

    i spent the month of november very suicidal and oscillating between suicide or living another day. i really thought it was the end for me…. and it was the first time in my life that i truly woke up and saw in how much danger i am by living here.

    but these videos and the internet have been helping me to realise there are good people out there, and this doesn't have to be my life forever, and i deserve better and getting out of here is worth the effort.

    all my life ive been isolated and alone, but the internet has been there for me, and it has saved my life time and time again. if i ever win an oscar, pulitzer prize, or other award i'll be sure to mention u in my speech, james =D

  10. my nmom is a hoarder, there are boxes and garbage everywhere. been this way since 14 yrs and it looks and feels like we live in a storage unit. never once had a friend over to my house and neither has she. none of ur family ever visits either, nd then she wonders why.

  11. I do see the sickness of my parents. I was kept under my parents control for instance, on my hs graduation. They both took me home I couldn't see anyone. I remember feeling like a prisoner. My parents are hoarders also, not even a place to sit down in the house. So sad! How can we heal from this without knowing its total effects on us as adult children of narcissist's?

  12. Here is a list of what they usually do to their targets :

    – Insults their target very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke.
    – When confronted with their behavior, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim.
    – Everything is always your fault, even when it's obviously not.
    – They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they're always right.
    – Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want. Very hypocritical.
    – They accuse you of what they're doing to you (RED FLAG!), it's called Projection.
    – Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually demons with their family and especially their target.
    – They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they're very convincing).
    – They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!).
    – Poison your favorite activities, they don't want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don't teach you anything.
    – Subtly lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don't get help.
    – When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors.
    – Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them.
    – They pretend to be "victims", and they blame the target for their own behavior.
    – They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer.
    – They think they are models to be followed.
    – They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief.

  13. Since I left home and stupid friends, I do better in life financially, spiritually etc. funny and I don't think it's coincidence.

  14. James, you nailed it: "[We] were raised by mentally sick manipulators….. [who are] con-artists and liars."  I know too well about the isolation.  My mother had such GLEE when I was left out of trips or meals or anything fun or nice.  If I was included and people liked me, and I laughed and talked–she'd hush and shame me, right at the table.  Then later, once there were no witnesses, the criticism and violence started…. YES–I agree fully that we owe it to ourselves to break the cycle of bad behavior.  And to do all that we can to heal.  Otherwise, we live polluted lives–and risk polluting the future!

  15. Well shit! I'm a single dad. Now my ex left me and I do see where I could have been a better husband. We have a little one. The ex remarried two short months after the divorce. Her marriage is current, however she's currently living with and in another relationship with another man. So she has sent her boyfriends parents to pick up our Son, without as much as a prior text. I didn't surrender our Son. Honestly, my ex and I have little issues co parenting. However, her boyfriends father explained to me that she and our Son had moved to a neighboring town, and explained to me that I should be thanking him for not charging me child care expenses. When I asked her about his statements, he responded on her email, asking me to call him. Why am I expected to be involved in this mess? I also want what's best for our child. I don't know what to do. I actually try to be civil, but I avoid interaction intentionally. Sometimes I feel narcissistic. Fuck I think we're ALL narcissists.

  16. I am in a difficult predicament. I have realized my addiction to narcissist of the last three decades but I am not sure where to start in my healing. It started with a second step-mother who was as narcissistic as they come. I almost became one but even though my very dreams seemed to be trying to gaslight me, I kept my focus on "why am I getting confused?" The struggle to answer that question under the intense mental and emotional pressure directly lead to me being able to develop strong dream recall and lucid dreaming. My grandparents rescued me but I was already addicted to all three the constant pressure, the narcissist destruction and the adaptive healing. I got good at finding them and put them everywhere in my life. I never admitted what they where. They where, "you know, those really type A kinds of people". I did get a lot of purposeful healing from this strange journey but this last time was a best friend family member and the process that leads up to no contact almost destroyed my home life. This is what made me admit I have an addiction. So, I have been learning about them and I have now idea how much damage they did to others through me. This last healing healed most of my remaining anger but now that I admit I have been playing with rabid egos, I have to wonder what damage I have lurking. Especially the habits I might have meant to attract them to try to feed off me. So, again I am not really sure where to begin.

  17. Instead of turning my friends against me, my dad tried to turn me against my friends. On the way back from dropping them of even after he established good rapport with my friends and/or Their dads, he would spend the whole drive home my dad would spend the whole drive home and then some talking bad about them and magnifying any minor flaw that they had. This ruined a few friendships I had with good people. This mostly happened when I was from 6-9

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