Character Design by Douglas Einar Olsen & Leah Tiscione
Animation by
Sean Glaze
Josh Kim
Douglas Einar Olsen
Cleanup Animation by
Dominick DeJesus
Howard Morris
Michael Harding
Rachel Paek
Josh Kim
Backgrounds by Stanley Von Medvey
Rigging by Damil Bryant
Compositing by Eric Binmoeller
Professional Rapper:
Engineer/mixer Dave Gulik (engineer) Rob Klineski (mixer)
Mastering engineer Dave Kutch/The Mastering Palace
Beat produced by Stan Lane
Publisher Pop Up Music
Hello, how can I help you? Hi, my name's Dave Burd Uh, I have an appointment today It's probably under "Lil Dicky", actually I'm a, I'm a rapper, so… Okay, and who are you here to see? Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here "Snoop D-o-g-g Oh, yeah, he's right down the hall, first door to your right Give him a knock and he should be right with you Thanks, it's uh, this door right here, right? Mm-hmm Thank you Grab a seat Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg Let me just check your sheet No problem, sir, let me just say I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave Let me start with your background Where you come from? Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond Before that Oh, you talking 'bout my hometown? Yeah I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham It's in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around So real shit you ain't never had to struggle for much I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap Elaborate Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school Like I was doing shit I had to do So when I finished undergrad, I'm cool And I can get whatever job I wanted But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming When you grow up like that Know you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps Boo hoo what a hardship How you paid to get the rap shit started? Man, my Bar Mitzvah money But don't diss me buddy I wasn't one of them youngins up on the block who had nothing to lose I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass Yeah, I guess That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap? Oh my God, it's the best Bitches let me draw up on their breasts Literally I can reinvent myself I got a forum to project myself It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself It's kinda healthy Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals Sure In a club and a couple niggas threaten you Uh, I wouldn't do shit And I don't even get what that got to do with this? Shut the fuck up, rap's like life If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little bitch Nah, that's my niche! Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed That's the target I'll hit And that's the heart of my pitch I wanna do this whole thing different What the fuck you mean you wanna do the whole thing different? Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know Traditionally people have been doing the job, uh, you know The same kind of way for a long time But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right? Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know You don't know if it could be working even better And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out I don't mean any disrespect by that I'm just saying I have a different background Like a different perspective way of looking at things Than your typical applicant So what are your biggest strengths? Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing For example, I can be like ain't nobody fucking with Lil Dicky When he get up on that shit and spit it sick and ridiculous Ripping this shit like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable 'Cause I can switch it, deliver this shit to whatever cadence you bitches prefer Alright, alright, I get it Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go) Got a long bottom bitch, called a hoe Neville (Whoa) And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh) You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better And y'all been winning like Pistorius it's no feat Bro, I can go on and on I'm taking over any man like father-in-laws Okay enough of the punchlines That ain't showing me you different from the other guys Well, I don't know if they can run it like that But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap What's that? Well I can tell a story about my morning Watching Boy meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence Like the 14 year old Topanga Oh this shit like a joke to you? I don't get it Nah it ain't like that I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual Like as a guy So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie Real recognize real, right? Yeah, I guess So what you trying to do? Five years from now, tell me bout the dude Well, I don't care about the money Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate I don't wanna leave the game the same In a nutshell, what's your legacy? Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand up rap With the random rap and the man like that for the people that was anti-rap Yet, the fans of rap started recognizing that anti-rap Is ironically one of the real brands of rap left That shit sound pretty damn complex I guess, I wanna be the best I just wanna do it my way And turn the whole game sideways And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway You can make a path while these motherfuckers drive straight I ain't mad at that Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack Just let me in and I'ma rap the plaques And I ain't about to win them back to back I'm 'bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back 'Til I stop rapping You ain't even sold a damn album yet True That's a lot of talk from a wily vet Let alone a young rook nigga You misread me Nah this ain't a book nigga Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg No, you just fucking repetitive dawg I get it, you trying to be better than all But you ain't shit until cheddars involved I get that I gotta prove myself No shit you ain't done shit Think about that though Only doing this a couple of years One tape and I'm like this? This shit is aight for your first shi But you don't know if it's your worst shit You don't think finding out would be worth it? It might be, it might not But I'ma put your ass to work, kid Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really? Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together What would you do for the hook for this song? You want me to make a hook up right now? Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating himself? Alright, uh, okay Man do the hook I'm 'bout to be professional Homie, I'm professional Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing? Nigga, that shit is garbage man Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes? Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg shit right there Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing Whatever man, you tryna smoke a blunt? Right now? Yeah Sure Dope, Juanita, bring some weed in here, please, thank you (You got it, Snoop, I'll be right there) Thanks, Juanita, super nice woman Nigga, why does everything you say sound so soft? Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so… Whatever, thanks (Hey, I got y'all y'all weed) Damn, that's some great looking weed, it's just so early (Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here?) (Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?) D-Did you just say head? (Yeah, you ain't never got no head before?) I mean, just feels like, a lot, right now (Okay) But what kind of tea do you guys have? (We got mint, raspberry, Earl Grey, English Breakfast…) Actually, I'll take head (I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head)
Homie ill be profensional my rap is exceptional but theyll still be logical and the flow is optional and my raps incredible though its not possible for me I stutter to much you see and i watch the greats and look up to them and believe maybe one day I'll think about it and maybe I'll do it untill then I'll just renew it
I'm just embarrassed I only recently (2-ish years ago) found out who Lil Dicky is. This song and video are both great! I l've watched it many, MANY rimes and almost always see something new.
Hello, how can I help you? Hi, my name's Dave Burd Uh, I have an appointment today It's probably under "Lil Dicky", actually I'm a, I'm a rapper, so… Okay, and who are you here to see? Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here "Snoop D-o-g-g Oh, yeah, he's right down the hall, first door to your right Give him a knock and he should be right with you Thanks, it's uh, this door right here, right? Mm-hmm Thank you Grab a seat Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg Let me just check your sheet No problem, sir, let me just say I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave Let me start with your background Where you come from? Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond Before that Oh, you talking 'bout my hometown? Yeah I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham It's in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around So real shit you ain't never had to struggle for much I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap Elaborate Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school Like I was doing shit I had to do So when I finished undergrad, I'm cool And I can get whatever job I wanted But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming When you grow up like that Know you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps Boo hoo what a hardship How you paid to get the rap shit started? Man, my Bar Mitzvah money But don't diss me buddy I wasn't one of them youngins up on the block who had nothing to lose I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass Yeah, I guess That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap? Oh my God, it's the best Bitches let me draw up on their breasts Literally I can reinvent myself I got a forum to project myself It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself It's kinda healthy Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals Sure In a club and a couple niggas threaten you Uh, I wouldn't do shit And I don't even get what that got to do with this? Shut the fuck up, rap's like life If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little bitch Nah, that's my niche! Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed That's the target I'll hit And that's the heart of my pitch I wanna do this whole thing different What the fuck you mean you wanna do the whole thing different? Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know Traditionally people have been doing the job, uh, you know The same kind of way for a long time But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right? Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know You don't know if it could be working even better And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out I don't mean any disrespect by that I'm just saying I have a different background Like a different perspective way of looking at things Than your typical applicant So what are your biggest strengths? Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing For example, I can be like ain't nobody fucking with Lil Dicky When he get up on that shit and spit it sick and ridiculous Ripping this shit like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable 'Cause I can switch it, deliver this shit to whatever cadence you bitches prefer Alright, alright, I get it Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go) Got a long bottom bitch, called a hoe Neville (Whoa) And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh) You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better And y'all been winning like Pistorius it's no feat Bro, I can go on and on I'm taking over any man like father-in-laws Okay enough of the punchlines That ain't showing me you different from the other guys Well, I don't know if they can run it like that But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap What's that? Well I can tell a story about my morning Watching Boy meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence Like the 14 year old Topanga Oh this shit like a joke to you? I don't get it Nah it ain't like that I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual Like as a guy So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie Real recognize real, right? Yeah, I guess So what you trying to do? Five years from now, tell me bout the dude Well, I don't care about the money Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate I don't wanna leave the game the same In a nutshell, what's your legacy? Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand up rap With the random rap and the man like that for the people that was anti-rap Yet, the fans of rap started recognizing that anti-rap Is ironically one of the real brands of rap left That shit sound pretty damn complex I guess, I wanna be the best I just wanna do it my way And turn the whole game sideways And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway You can make a path while these motherfuckers drive straight I ain't mad at that Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack Just let me in and I'ma rap the plaques And I ain't about to win them back to back I'm 'bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back 'Til I stop rapping You ain't even sold a damn album yet True That's a lot of talk from a wily vet Let alone a young rook nigga You misread me Nah this ain't a book nigga Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg No, you just fucking repetitive dawg I get it, you trying to be better than all But you ain't shit until cheddars involved I get that I gotta prove myself No shit you ain't done shit Think about that though Only doing this a couple of years One tape and I'm like this? This shit is aight for your first shi But you don't know if it's your worst shit You don't think finding out would be worth it? It might be, it might not But I'ma put your ass to work, kid Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really? Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together What would you do for the hook for this song? You want me to make a hook up right now? Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating himself? Alright, uh, okay Man do the hook I'm 'bout to be professional Homie, I'm professional Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing? Nigga, that shit is garbage man Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes? Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg shit right there Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing Whatever man, you tryna smoke a blunt? Right now? Yeah Sure Dope, Juanita, bring some weed in here, please, thank you (You got it, Snoop, I'll be right there) Thanks, Juanita, super nice woman Nigga, why does everything you say sound so soft? Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so… Whatever, thanks (Hey, I got y'all y'all weed) Damn, that's some great looking weed, it's just so early (Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here?) (Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?) D-Did you just say head? (Yeah, you ain't never got no head before?) I mean, just feels like, a lot, right now (Okay) But what kind of tea do you guys have? (We got mint, raspberry, Earl Grey, English Breakfast…) Actually, I'll take head (I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head)
Love this song
When’s season 3 coming out
Legend.
Add subtitles babe
Never knew I'd love this song
Such a nice woman, bless her heart ☺️
I love that snoops come back’s are on point
Hello, how can I help you?
Hi, my name's Dave Burd
Uh, I have an appointment today
It's probably under "Lil Dicky", actually I'm a, I'm a rapper, so…
Okay, and who are you here to see?
Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here "Snoop D-o-g-g
Oh, yeah, he's right down the hall, first door to your right
Give him a knock and he should be right with you
Thanks, it's uh, this door right here, right?
Mm-hmm
Thank you
Grab a seat
Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet
Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg
Let me just check your sheet
No problem, sir, let me just say
I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make
I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day
All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave
Let me start with your background
Where you come from?
Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond
Before that
Oh, you talking 'bout my hometown?
Yeah
I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham
It's in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around
So real shit you ain't never had to struggle for much
I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap
Elaborate
Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school
Like I was doing shit I had to do
So when I finished undergrad, I'm cool
And I can get whatever job I wanted
But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping
Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming
When you grow up like that
Know you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps
Boo hoo what a hardship
How you paid to get the rap shit started?
Man, my Bar Mitzvah money
But don't diss me buddy
I wasn't one of them youngins up on the block who had nothing to lose
I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose
Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass
Yeah, I guess
That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap?
Oh my God, it's the best
Bitches let me draw up on their breasts
Literally I can reinvent myself
I got a forum to project myself
It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself
I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself
It's kinda healthy
Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals
Sure
In a club and a couple niggas threaten you
Uh, I wouldn't do shit
And I don't even get what that got to do with this?
Shut the fuck up, rap's like life
If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little bitch
Nah, that's my niche!
Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed
That's the target I'll hit
And that's the heart of my pitch
I wanna do this whole thing different
What the fuck you mean you wanna do the whole thing different?
Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know
Traditionally people have been doing the job, uh, you know
The same kind of way for a long time
But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right?
Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know
You don't know if it could be working even better
And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out
I don't mean any disrespect by that
I'm just saying I have a different background
Like a different perspective way of looking at things
Than your typical applicant
So what are your biggest strengths?
Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing
For example, I can be like ain't nobody fucking with Lil Dicky
When he get up on that shit and spit it sick and ridiculous
Ripping this shit like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable
'Cause I can switch it, deliver this shit to whatever cadence you bitches prefer
Alright, alright, I get it
Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go)
Got a long bottom bitch, called a hoe Neville (Whoa)
And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh)
You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better
And y'all been winning like Pistorius it's no feat
Bro, I can go on and on
I'm taking over any man like father-in-laws
Okay enough of the punchlines
That ain't showing me you different from the other guys
Well, I don't know if they can run it like that
But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap
What's that?
Well I can tell a story about my morning
Watching Boy meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence
Like the 14 year old Topanga
Oh this shit like a joke to you?
I don't get it
Nah it ain't like that
I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual
Like as a guy
So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie
Real recognize real, right?
Yeah, I guess
So what you trying to do?
Five years from now, tell me bout the dude
Well, I don't care about the money
Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting
Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats
Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate
I don't wanna leave the game the same
In a nutshell, what's your legacy?
Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand up rap
With the random rap and the man like that for the people that was anti-rap
Yet, the fans of rap started recognizing that anti-rap
Is ironically one of the real brands of rap left
That shit sound pretty damn complex
I guess, I wanna be the best
I just wanna do it my way
And turn the whole game sideways
And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway
You can make a path while these motherfuckers drive straight
I ain't mad at that
Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack
Just let me in and I'ma rap the plaques
And I ain't about to win them back to back
I'm 'bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back
'Til I stop rapping
You ain't even sold a damn album yet
True
That's a lot of talk from a wily vet
Let alone a young rook nigga
You misread me
Nah this ain't a book nigga
Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg
No, you just fucking repetitive dawg
I get it, you trying to be better than all
But you ain't shit until cheddars involved
I get that I gotta prove myself
No shit you ain't done shit
Think about that though
Only doing this a couple of years
One tape and I'm like this?
This shit is aight for your first shi
But you don't know if it's your worst shit
You don't think finding out would be worth it?
It might be, it might not
But I'ma put your ass to work, kid
Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really?
Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together
What would you do for the hook for this song?
You want me to make a hook up right now?
Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating himself?
Alright, uh, okay
Man do the hook
I'm 'bout to be professional
Homie, I'm professional
Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?
Nigga, that shit is garbage man
Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it
But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that
Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes?
Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg shit right there
Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through
Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing
Whatever man, you tryna smoke a blunt?
Right now?
Yeah
Sure
Dope, Juanita, bring some weed in here, please, thank you
(You got it, Snoop, I'll be right there)
Thanks, Juanita, super nice woman
Nigga, why does everything you say sound so soft?
Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so…
Whatever, thanks
(Hey, I got y'all y'all weed)
Damn, that's some great looking weed, it's just so early
(Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here?)
(Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?)
D-Did you just say head?
(Yeah, you ain't never got no head before?)
I mean, just feels like, a lot, right now
(Okay)
But what kind of tea do you guys have?
(We got mint, raspberry, Earl Grey, English Breakfast…)
Actually, I'll take head
(I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head)
Ducky is a good guy
Amazing apsalutly great I loved it all love so six yea thank lord heaven thank lord thank you Said. ❤
DAAAM THAT'S OLD NOW
Homie ill be profensional my rap is exceptional but theyll still be logical and the flow is optional and my raps incredible though its not possible for me I stutter to much you see and i watch the greats and look up to them and believe maybe one day I'll think about it and maybe I'll do it untill then I'll just renew it
This was 7 YEARS AGO? WTF?????
3:05 MOTIVATION. COLLABORATION. BITCHES. INTERCOURSE.
5:28 WHAT
BUSSINES COMPLEX
complex wow
I hate it he is so stupid sikeeeeeeeere
tbt DRE x EMINEM
cant believe it was 7 years ago
この曲が7年前だなんて信じられない
Licky Dicky getting head was the best part of this
I'm just embarrassed I only recently (2-ish years ago) found out who Lil Dicky is. This song and video are both great! I l've watched it many, MANY rimes and almost always see something new.
Both them are so good in this
3:01 no pedo.he was probably 11.
wow 2015 was 7 hrs ago that’s crazy
"coffee, tea, head" that part had me dead
Snoop dogg is so menacing here like wtf
No way this is 7 years old! I rember when this first came out eveyone was playing this song lol . Good ol 8th grade years
Well
Sontung mtp not a G, but still feat with Snoop lol
Why was nas not on that wall
Lil Dicky's misogyny is so weird. Why do we let grown ass dudes get away with shit like this
ngl this rap gets stuck in my head, and for this at least being 7 years old its good
Hello, how can I help you?
Hi, my name's Dave Burd
Uh, I have an appointment today
It's probably under "Lil Dicky", actually I'm a, I'm a rapper, so…
Okay, and who are you here to see?
Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here "Snoop D-o-g-g
Oh, yeah, he's right down the hall, first door to your right
Give him a knock and he should be right with you
Thanks, it's uh, this door right here, right?
Mm-hmm
Thank you
Grab a seat
Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet
Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg
Let me just check your sheet
No problem, sir, let me just say
I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make
I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day
All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave
Let me start with your background
Where you come from?
Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond
Before that
Oh, you talking 'bout my hometown?
Yeah
I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham
It's in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around
So real shit you ain't never had to struggle for much
I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap
Elaborate
Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school
Like I was doing shit I had to do
So when I finished undergrad, I'm cool
And I can get whatever job I wanted
But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping
Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming
When you grow up like that
Know you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps
Boo hoo what a hardship
How you paid to get the rap shit started?
Man, my Bar Mitzvah money
But don't diss me buddy
I wasn't one of them youngins up on the block who had nothing to lose
I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose
Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass
Yeah, I guess
That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap?
Oh my God, it's the best
Bitches let me draw up on their breasts
Literally I can reinvent myself
I got a forum to project myself
It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself
I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself
It's kinda healthy
Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals
Sure
In a club and a couple niggas threaten you
Uh, I wouldn't do shit
And I don't even get what that got to do with this?
Shut the fuck up, rap's like life
If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little bitch
Nah, that's my niche!
Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed
That's the target I'll hit
And that's the heart of my pitch
I wanna do this whole thing different
What the fuck you mean you wanna do the whole thing different?
Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know
Traditionally people have been doing the job, uh, you know
The same kind of way for a long time
But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right?
Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know
You don't know if it could be working even better
And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out
I don't mean any disrespect by that
I'm just saying I have a different background
Like a different perspective way of looking at things
Than your typical applicant
So what are your biggest strengths?
Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing
For example, I can be like ain't nobody fucking with Lil Dicky
When he get up on that shit and spit it sick and ridiculous
Ripping this shit like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable
'Cause I can switch it, deliver this shit to whatever cadence you bitches prefer
Alright, alright, I get it
Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go)
Got a long bottom bitch, called a hoe Neville (Whoa)
And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh)
You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better
And y'all been winning like Pistorius it's no feat
Bro, I can go on and on
I'm taking over any man like father-in-laws
Okay enough of the punchlines
That ain't showing me you different from the other guys
Well, I don't know if they can run it like that
But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap
What's that?
Well I can tell a story about my morning
Watching Boy meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence
Like the 14 year old Topanga
Oh this shit like a joke to you?
I don't get it
Nah it ain't like that
I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual
Like as a guy
So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie
Real recognize real, right?
Yeah, I guess
So what you trying to do?
Five years from now, tell me bout the dude
Well, I don't care about the money
Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting
Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats
Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate
I don't wanna leave the game the same
In a nutshell, what's your legacy?
Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand up rap
With the random rap and the man like that for the people that was anti-rap
Yet, the fans of rap started recognizing that anti-rap
Is ironically one of the real brands of rap left
That shit sound pretty damn complex
I guess, I wanna be the best
I just wanna do it my way
And turn the whole game sideways
And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway
You can make a path while these motherfuckers drive straight
I ain't mad at that
Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack
Just let me in and I'ma rap the plaques
And I ain't about to win them back to back
I'm 'bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back
'Til I stop rapping
You ain't even sold a damn album yet
True
That's a lot of talk from a wily vet
Let alone a young rook nigga
You misread me
Nah this ain't a book nigga
Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg
No, you just fucking repetitive dawg
I get it, you trying to be better than all
But you ain't shit until cheddars involved
I get that I gotta prove myself
No shit you ain't done shit
Think about that though
Only doing this a couple of years
One tape and I'm like this?
This shit is aight for your first shi
But you don't know if it's your worst shit
You don't think finding out would be worth it?
It might be, it might not
But I'ma put your ass to work, kid
Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really?
Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together
What would you do for the hook for this song?
You want me to make a hook up right now?
Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating himself?
Alright, uh, okay
Man do the hook
I'm 'bout to be professional
Homie, I'm professional
Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?
Nigga, that shit is garbage man
Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it
But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that
Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes?
Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg shit right there
Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through
Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing
Whatever man, you tryna smoke a blunt?
Right now?
Yeah
Sure
Dope, Juanita, bring some weed in here, please, thank you
(You got it, Snoop, I'll be right there)
Thanks, Juanita, super nice woman
Nigga, why does everything you say sound so soft?
Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so…
Whatever, thanks
(Hey, I got y'all y'all weed)
Damn, that's some great looking weed, it's just so early
(Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here?)
(Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?)
D-Did you just say head?
(Yeah, you ain't never got no head before?)
I mean, just feels like, a lot, right now
(Okay)
But what kind of tea do you guys have?
(We got mint, raspberry, Earl Grey, English Breakfast…)
Actually, I'll take head
(I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head)